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Posts Tagged ‘Medical Marriage’

I.C.U (Not)

As August comes to a conclusion so does the second month of my husband’s ICU rotation and honestly folks, they should change the name of the rotation from I.C.U to I.C.U (not). The months of July and August have been filled with 16 overnight calls, 16 trips to the University Hospital Cafeteria to dine together as a family, and 16 post-call days where I try to keep the girls entertained and quiet in our two bedroom apartment so Gas Man can catch some ZZZ’s.

Needless to say, the call schedule has been brutal on everyone in our family. Gas Man gets at the most two hours of broken sleep while at the hospital, which makes post-call days more like a scene from one of those really bad zombie horror flicks. Most post-call days, I am just as exhausted as my hubby due to my role as single-mama while he’s at the hospital and the fact that I can hardly sleep while he’s gone overnight. This month has been challenging not only for myself but also for my 3 year old who has struggled with her Daddy’s absence and her behavior has been less than desirable at times. How can I blame her for throwing fits and flowing tears? I have felt like doing the same on many occasion these past two months.

Being married to a resident isn’t easy and having kids in residency is at times challenging. It’s hard to explain the demands of a physician to our children and why they live at the hospital most days. In our family, we make the most of our time together tired or not and take lots of trips to the hospital to visit our Dr. Daddy while he is away. I admire my hubby and his efforts to always put his family first. He is a great father to our girls and he always finds a way to muster up that last bit of energy to have a tea party or play princess. I know that residency is a short season in our life but the memory of tired days, family dinners in the hospital cafeteria, and the excitement of Dr. Daddy coming home will be long in our memories.

What have your toughest rotations been? How do you and your family cope with the long days and time apart?

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I’m Mrs. MD, but please call me Rad Wife. I’m a journalist turned at-home mom who is married to a radiology resident. When we first started dating, he was a car salesman waiting to hear if he’d been accepted into medical school. When he received the big news that he was “in,” we celebrated. I love my husband who we will call Dr. McDreamy for whom he is, not what he does, but I do remember thinking, “Wow! I’m marrying a budding doctor! How dreamy.”

Foolish, foolish woman!

Truth is, my marriage has been dreamy in many ways. Dr. McDreamy is a great catch. He’s the man God wanted me to marry. But the whole doctor thing, well, I suppose it will one day be icing on the cake, but right now it’s just some eggs and flour and maybe some Splenda  (certainly not real sugar). And I had absolutely no idea what I was in for when I said “I do” to a budding doc.

In other words, it’s been a long journey.

Don’t get me wrong: I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that we are infinitely blessed to have a happy present (including two lovely, little girls and a mini van to boot) and an even brighter future. But that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes get impatient. After all, I married my dearly beloved after his first year of medical school more than six years ago and he is still training. 

 Since that fateful day when Dr. McDreamy started his journey to becoming a physician by tearing open his acceptance letter to med school, I’ve realized that marrying an aspiring physician was neither a glorious gamble or a dream turned reality. (Honestly, in my dreams I usually imagined myself marrying a musician. I always had a thing for musicians, not preppy guys strutting their stuff in white coats stained with blood, feces, and goodness knows what else.) I fell in love with my husband, not some brilliant doctor (although like most wives, I do think he is brilliant).

When I consider the big picture – our commitment to each other and our desire to have a big family – the initials behind his name make little difference. At the end of a long post-call day, I’m just an ordinary wife who happened to fall in love with someone who just happens to want to be a doctor.

Still, anyone who is married to a med student, resident, and/or practicing physician knows that a medical marriage presents us with a unique set of challenges – from the neverending training process to having a husband deal with life and death issues on a daily basis. Talk about job stress!

That’s why I started this blog and invited several other incredible women who also happen to be married to med students, residents, or doctors to share their insight. Our goal is to offer support to others living a medical marriage, to make you laugh when you want to cry, to remind us all how truly lucky we are to have hard-working husbands.

In addition, we wanted to provide a forum for all your questions about crazy things like the Match process, fellowships (to do or not to do?), the interview process for residency as well as jobs, what it’s like when you’re husband is finally a real (as in practicing) doctor, how to get gross stains out of gleaming white coats, and whatever else is on your mind. I also want to give others who aren’t in a medical marriage a glimpse into the lives of the women who support them. 

Please take a look at our contributors. Each has a different perspective to share, but what we all have in common is a love for our husbands – even when they have to work really long hours, leave dirty scrubs on the carpet, and our lives sometimes seem like they’re at the mercy of a pager.

We want this to be an interactive forum, so we’ll hope you’ll help spread the word about us to other medical wives you know and that you’ll consider dropping us a line. Leave a comment or email us at MrsMDblog@gmail.com. Share your wisdom, anecdotes, encouragement, and advice. And let us know what you’d like to see on this blog. 

Thanks for sharing your medical marriages with us!

 

 

 

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