Me. No not really but if they did hand out awards to Mommies this week I would be getting the award for Worst Mommy in a supporting role.
In just this week, I have received two nominations. The first nomination is for my role as a Mother who takes her sick kid to Kroger. My little one had asked me to make her some soup for dinner because she was not feeling well.. I decided if we were going to have dinner and I were to serve soup to my little sickling, I was going to have to go and take my sick kid with me. While we were in line, we started making small talk with another Mom and her child. My little angel goes on to inform her that she has got the “STRIP” in her throat. Never in my life have I seen a lady move one of those giant car carts and clear the check out lane so fast. I might have to keep this in my mommy brain reserve for another time I need to clear a lane but not sure I can withstand the snarly looks.
My second nomination happened in the post office today where I have gotten previous nominations for my role as, a Mom who takes her baby out in the rain ( I didn’t know that babies would melt) and Mother of the kid who licks the post-office floor (I am still shuddering from that one). But today it was because I did not force my almost 4 year old to wear a coat. Okay so it was REALLY cold, like 30 degrees cold but it was NOT windy. Let me be honest here, I am the Mom who WANTS my kid to wear a coat but if she does not heed my advice, nor my instruction then I figure I’ll let her see for herself if she enjoys being cold. What is the worst thing that will happen? She gets COLD from the 15 feet from our car to the post office door?
Here is how things played out with Mrs. Paula the Postal lady aka Mean, Mean, Mean postal lady:
“Postal” Postal Lady: Where is that little girls coat?
Meek Mama: Feeling a little embarrassed. Hmm…she doesn’t have one, I mean its in the car but she didn’t want to wear it so I figure you can only tell them whats good for them but ultimately it is her decision.
P.P lady: With a whole lot of attitude. Oh no, you CAN tell them and you SHOULD have told her, SHE is SICK…right? I HEARD her coughing!
M.M: (hoping that my kid doesn’t spill the Strep beans again) Umm…yes but she is getting better and its not that bad outside because its not windy and plus I let her make those kind of decisions when it comes to appropriate clothing for the weather because it her comfort. Trying to win Mrs. Paula the postal lady over with my kindness and smile.
P.P lady: Blah, Blah, Blah. (Turning to the other Postal worker lady) This lady doesn’t have a coat on her sick little girl. Blah Blah Blah.
M.M: I am out the door. Internal thoughts, I would like to see you wrangle two kids into your stinkin postal office, wait in line, balance a package in one hand and a baby on your hip and try to get a head strong 4 year old to wear a coat. Plus, You don’t get colds from getting COLD…I am pretty sure I read that in one of my parenting books. See I am a decent mom…I read the books.
All this said, I am annoyed with the people who judge and try to tell me how to parent my kids. I guess I am getting pay-backs for the time I gave the lady at Wal-Mart who had her baby in the cart barefoot, dressed in a t-shirt and a diaper the “look” of disapproval. For all I know, her baby could have just had a blow-out in the parking lot and she happen to forget the extra clothes that the “Good Mommy” handbook suggests carrying at all times. May I never judge again.
We are Moms and are only human. We all make mistakes and are doing the best we can. As women and moms, we need to give other women and moms support and a little slack from time to time! We need to hold the door for other moms and their broods, pick up the lost shoe that the toddler pulled off while the Mom is searching for that hard to find Pesto sauce, and give KNOWINGLY looks when other mom’s are struggling to calm or ignore their kids’ temper tantrums. So next time you see a Mom give her a hand or better yet, a “Girl, I have been there!”. I know that would have spoke wonders for me this week.
Great post. A very similar situation happened with me when my first was only a baby. I had to drop off my husband’s watch to get fixed, and the jeweler was aghast that my baby was not bundled up from head to toe. He went on and on about how I needed to keep her warmer. Mind you, it was a sunny, bright day – just a little on the cool side AND my baby happened to generate enough heat for the both of us. We always called her our little oven. She was an absolute sweat hog. Anyway, I finally told the man that I was her mom and I knew how to take care of her. I honestly can’t believe I was that assertive with a stranger, but I’d had enough.
He later called to apologize and confessed he came from a different culture (somewhere in South America, I believe) where they always swaddle their babies in lots of blankets.
These days I still don’t always force that same baby – who’s now 4 – to wear jackets. You choose your battles and if she refuses to wear a jacket, then fine. She’ll just have to live with the natural consequences if she gets cold. I’m sure I get some looks, but c’mon, people, I live in the South and it doesn’t get all that cold around here.
You are so right about not judging moms or anyone else – we don’t know their interior lives. Let’s not so quickly jump to conclusions.
Hope your little one is feeling better!
Wow. That postal worker was so rude! I also let my 3 year old choose whether or not to wear a coat and then live with the consequences. After reading your story I won’t be so surprised someday when someone decides that I’m a bad parent too. You are right though, we moms do need to pour out understanding on our fellow moms.